I have been on a rollercoaster of negativity, unhappiness and depression for as long as I can remember. I don’t remember when last I was really happy for 7 days consistently. I am happy in the morning, sad in the afternoon, and tired at night. Well, I dared myself to purposefully put myself on 21 days of mind detox. A day ago after all the despair, I cried out to the Lord to help me, this was one of my countless times I have cried out. In the morning I read Psalms 27, I got this scripture from the footnote of my journal. In the last two verses, David said;
13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
14 Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Friend, I will be honest with you that I have lost my heart for a long time. This scripture led me to ask myself “Do I believe to see the goodness of God in my life, or do I just go around mourning and complaining about what goes wrong?” Life happens to all of us but how we respond to it depends on each of us, and I have been responding negatively. During these 21 days I will be doing the below:
- Wake up 20min
- Make coffee
- Read Psalms 27:13&14
- Journal and speak out what goodness of God I am expecting to see in my day and life
I have done these things countless times in my life, but right now I am so angry, like a wave of holy anger hit me, that I will and I can push myself up and fight for my happiness, so help me God.
Journey with me and lets fight to get our lives together. It’s going to be tough, it’s going to be ugly, but in the end, it will be glorious.
PS: Listen to ‘Goodness of God’ by Bethel Music